Why Am I Here?

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I chose the quote on this page because this blog is my attempt at a kind of success. For me, my idea of a successful life is to enjoy my life with my girlfriend, to love her like there’s no tomorrow, and to raise a good man in our 2-year old son Tommy. And to write every day. So I have created this blog as a way to get my writing done, even if only one person reads it (hi, baby!). And a way to reach out to other parents, who may be thinking about having a baby, or who think they can’t have a baby because they are gay, or who have kids but sometimes feel so different than other types of parents. I don’t find as many books in the library about choosing a sperm donor, or same sex parent adoption, don’t really find magazines that contain stories about gay parents. If there is a story about it, it’s always a morality story, “Is it Right? Is it Selfish?” How come they don’t ask that question of other couples, couples who are on the verge of divorce, or who drink too much, or who name their kids weird names and then let a nanny raise them (I’m not judging, I’m just saying). People always want to say that the gay parents are selfish. Do you know how many Saturdays we have spent at the Ace Hardware watching the fountains for hours and hours, because our boy has a fascination with water? Do you know how many times my girlfriend has been thrown up on? Any woman who is willing to hook her boob up to an electronic sucking machine can hardly be called selfish. Okay, now I am making light of something that some people take way too seriously, but I do get tired of hearing the words “positive male role model.”What to Expect When You’re Expecting doesn’t really cover all of the things that happen when you are a gay couple trying to have, and then raise, a baby. It’s very good for rashes and feeding and milestones, but it doesn’t tell you how to answer the question, “Who’s the Mom?” at the Southwest ticket counter when you are asking to preboard. The obvious answer is “we both are,” but then for some people that is just too much to handle. What I have learned already is that it doesn’t really matter if some people just can’t understand this different kind of family that my girlfriend and I have. It’s okay. I hope people may someday realize that our family is the same as any other family. But this is just a picture, this is just a glimpse, of our life. More to come.

 

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